shocking moment in my life

I remember the day when I learned that my dad had diabetes. I never truly understood what it meant but I knew it was something bad. I was 12 years old. He worked his way up to get a good job as a chef and he was proud of it. We always have fun. My father provides us with everything. His dreams for us were always big and ambitious. Often he talks about how he wanted to give us a better life; to send all of us to school and college to finish a degree. That is why he works so hard to make ends meet. 


A large family of 5 children like us certainly needs a family man who not only cares but works hard as well. I can see my father working day and night not minding the stress and pressure just to support and feed his large family. He has always been an energetic man, with so much compassion for his work and his family. But that was before diabetes set in. 


Not a word does he speak after that doesn't bring tears to his eyes, when he talks about his life. We would gather around him and cheer him up. Everyone in the family cared for him. We would take turns in preparing his food and attending to his needs. My mom carried the greatest burden of emotional pain because every day she saw the man whom she dearly loved, in agony because of a disease that has taken not only his limbs but his pride as well. My father died at the age of 45. His example of courage and love has been our guide in following our own paths in life. Diabetes had taken so much from him. Years where he could have done so much if only he hadn't acquired the disease. 


Now, everyone in the family is making a very conscious effort to stay away from this dreadful disease. Diabetes with not take any one of us again. The day my dad went away is the most shocking moment in my life. But I believe everything happens for a reason. God knows what best for us. He loves dad so much he took him first so that he not suffering that much from his disease. I have to learn to let go. To move on, to live my life.  


It has been 12 years.
I miss dad so much it hurts :(